After a long bleak winter, the time has come to embrace the spring-time, let in some sunlight and – argh! – so much dust! The biggest cobwebs ever seen to mankind! And the much-maligned return of our greatest enemy... no, not Lord Voldemort, but that annoying patch of mildew in the bathroom! That’s right: Lord Mouldy-mort. (Wait, did Peeves write this?)
How did this all happen? It’s almost as if we’ve been huddled in a blanket for three months doing nothing whatsoever! Nonetheless, we’re going to be needing a magical home makeover immediately. We’re breaking into Ollivander’s, grabbing a wand, and trying these spells post-haste.
Scourgify
The ultimate cleaning spell: this extremely useful charm eliminates grime, muck and dust with a simple wave of the wand. As you may imagine, Mrs Weasley absolutely swears by it. And think of the amount you’d save on bleach, bicarbonate of soda, lemon juice, and all the rest of it.
Arania Exumai
OK, no offence to our eight-legged friends... but there’s nothing worse than bumping into a scuttling spider while innocently sweeping away. With apologies, it just ruins the vibe. Brilliantly, there’s a niche spell for such a problem, which specifically banishes members of the arachnid family. In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry uses the charm on a gathering of Acromantula... thankfully, our household spiders are comparatively tame.
Accio
You know that in-between moment during a spring-cleaning afternoon, where you make the fatal mistake of sitting down for half a second and then don’t want to do any cleaning ever again for the rest of your life? We reckon something like the Summoning Charm would help battle that inevitable moment of inertia. “Eurgh, just Accio extendable feather duster” you might say – which should give you the slight crumb of motivation you need to continue.
Capacius Extremis
AKA the Undetectable Extension Charm. This is the spell that Newt Scamander uses to create a vibrant home for his magical creatures, all inside his modest briefcase. For you, this would be a nifty piece of magic to use for enlarging your cupboard space and shoving lots of clutter in there that you can’t be bothered dealing with right now.
Lumos
Go on...you know you have to. We are, of course, talking about that fateful moment where you must go behind that big chest of drawers...or under the couch, or an equivalent giant piece of furniture, that you’ve been putting off for longer than you may care to admit and... heaven forbid... clean behind it.
But done, it must be, and at least with a spell like Lumos you can be prepared for whatever horrors lie within those dark, mystery crevices.
Nox
And of course, depending on what you might find... here’s the counter-spell to immediately stop dealing with it.
Wingardium Leviosa
During a spring-cleaning session, there is always that point of no return... yes, the part where you’ve dumped every possession you’ve ever owned all over the floor, and now everything has to go back into its rightful place... wouldn’t it be much better if all of your clobber was gently floating around, so you could give the floor a cheeky mop, then gracefully pluck the items out of the air?
Reducio
Why, oh why did you keep all those giant cardboard boxes? What do you mean it felt important at the time? Fool! And flattening and ripping up those huge things is always so exhausting; they should make it into an Olympic sport. If only there was a way to make them super-duper small, so they could drop into the recycling bin, nary a second thought. Oh wait, there is! Reducio!
The Reducing Charm would also be another great way to save on storage space. Just make all your belongings cute and dinky and file them away for a rainy day. Remember to cast Engorgio when you want to use them again, mind you, otherwise your hairdryer will only be useful for ants.
Tergeo
This is a wiping charm, ideal for targeting stubborn grime. In the books, Hermione used this spell to clean up Harry’s bloodied nose after his unfortunate run-in with Malfoy, but we imagine you are using Tergeo for far more boring, less painful reasons.
Orchideous
Here's a nice idea for when you’ve finished: this friendly spell produces a cheerful bouquet of flowers at the tip of the caster’s wand, completely out of the ether. Wouldn’t that be a nice finishing flourish to your new, spick and span home?
