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A few of the tiniest jokes in the Harry Potter books we didn’t spot until the millionth re-read

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Professor Umbridge being chased through the Great Hall by a fireworks in the shape of a large dragon.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

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and the Order of the Phoenix

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We’ve pored through the books to find the blink-and-you’ll-miss-them jokes from the Harry Potter books that, honestly, we’d completely forgotten about or in some cases, never noticed in the first place. Did you?  

## Dr Filibuster’s Fabulous, Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks

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We all remember these magical fireworks due to Fred and George’s love of them: fireworks that never seem to stop exploding – or at least on one occasion for ‘at least half an hour’. 

It wasn’t until a long while later that we realised that a ‘filibuster’ is a political tactic, where a speaker delivers a time-wasting speech that doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to end. These ceaseless fireworks were made by one ‘Dr Filibuster’ – coincidence? 

## Roonil Wazlib 

We’ve all had our names misspelt before, right? Forms, coffee cups, birthday cards... but maybe not quite as dramatic as the great Roonil Wazlib.

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Thanks to one of Fred and George’s [useful joke shop products](https://www.harrypotter.com/fact-file/locations/weasleys-wizard-wheezes), a Spell-Checking quill with its charm wearing off, Ron inadvertently created the best nickname ever. Although it positively ruined one of Ron’s essays, it did later come in handy for Harry, pretending he was the great Roonil Wazlib to avoid a textbook faux pas with Snape. 

‘This is the copy of Advanced Potion-Making that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?’ 

‘Yes,’ said Harry firmly. 

‘Then why,’ asked Snape, ‘does it have the name “Roonil Wazlib” written inside the front cover?’ 

Harry’s heart missed a beat. 

‘That’s my nickname,’ he said.

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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Happily, Roonil Wazlib had a shelf life outside of the Harry Potter books – with the iconic monicker becoming a meme amongst the fans forever more. Long live Roonil!  

## Professor Binns never getting anyone’s name right  

The novelty of having a ghost teach a Hogwarts subject quickly wore off for Harry and his school-friends, after discovering Professor Binns’ [History of Magic](https://www.harrypotter.com/fact-file/magical-miscellany/history-of-magic) classes were not exactly stimulating, Perhaps the only interesting thing about them is that Binns never got anyone’s names right at all – you can find multiple examples of this across the books. 

‘But, sir,’ said Seamus Finnigan, ‘if the Chamber can only be opened by Slytherin’s true heir, no one else would be able to find it, would they?’ 

‘Nonsense, O’Flaherty,’ said Professor Binns in an aggravated tone. ‘If a long succession of Hogwarts headmasters and headmistresses haven’t found the thing –’ 

‘But, Professor,’ piped up Parvati Patil, ‘you’d probably have to use Dark Magic to open it –’ 

‘Just because a wizard doesn’t use Dark Magic, doesn’t mean he can’t, Miss Pennyfeather,’ snapped Professor Binns.

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

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In Binns’ defence, he is still working despite being dead, so you can maybe forgive him for not being entirely on his A-game.  

## Merlin’s many... things

For reasons only wizards and witches may know, it has become common parlance in the wizarding world to use “Merlin’s..." as an exclamation. Perhaps a nod to some of our idiosyncratic British phrases, such as Flaming Nora and Gordon Bennett. (Look them up, seriously.)

Usually, when shocked or surprised by something, a witch or wizard may opt for a nice, innocent, “Merlin’s beard”. But we have seen more upscaled versions. Never forget Hermione’s controversial, “Merlin’s pants!” - could it ever get more scandalous than that? 

Well, yes.  

‘We are holding your brother’s wedding here in a few days’ time, young man –’ 

‘And are they getting married in my bedroom?’ asked Ron furiously. ‘No! So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left –’ 


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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 

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## Weatherby! 

It feels only apt that the Weasley family have infiltrated many of the moments on this list. But now, here’s one from an unlikely source: poor Percy. 

‘Oh,’ said Mr Crouch, looking over at Percy in mild surprise. 

‘Yes – thank you, Weatherby.’ 

Fred and George choked into their own cups. Percy, very pink around the ears, busied himself with the kettle.

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

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Determined to impress his boss at the Ministry, Percy was instead left to reconcile with the fact Mr Crouch barely knew his name, earning him the new one of Weatherby. And it wasn’t just one time. For the entire of *Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire*, Percy is called Weatherby at every opportune moment – and of course, Fred and George are only happy to join in. 

## Commemorative toilet seats

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Okay, one more Weasley submission for the road. The Weasley twins, of course, [were no strangers to a good laugh](https://www.harrypotter.com/features/debate-club-who-was-funnier-fred-or-george-weasley) – but we particularly enjoyed this more subtle endeavour of theirs – a strange dedication to toilet seats. 

In the first instance we meet them, Fred and George console their weeping sister Ginny by saying they’ll send her a Hogwarts toilet seat as they part ways. But this isn’t the only time the Weasley twins employ toilet seats as an off-piste replacement for a greeting card. When Harry wakes up in the hospital wing at the end of *Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone*...

He was lying in a bed with white line sheets and next to him was a table piled high with what looked like half the sweet-shop. 
‘Tokens from your friends and admirers,’ said Dumbledore, beaming. ‘What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows. I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a lavatory seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. Madam Pomfrey, however, felt it might not be very hygienic, and confiscated it.’ 

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

Unpopular opinions only: Harry Potter character decisions

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Harry and Hermione using the Time Turner in the Prisoner of Azkaban

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As the wise [Albus Dumbledore](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/albus-dumbledore) once said: *‘It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.’* Throughout the Harry Potter stories, we saw that sentiment in action as the characters faced all sorts of decisions. Whether they ended up making wise choices? Now that’s the real question. 

And who better to answer that question than you, the fans! We asked you to tell us your most unpopular opinions about the decisions that the Harry Potter characters made... and your responses did not disappoint.  

From your strong views on fashion choices to what you would have done differently with the [Elder Wand](/fact-file/objects/the-elder-wand), we were inundated with insightful answers. Here are a few of our favourites… 

## You weren’t sure about Harry’s name choices 

Quite a few of you were really not on board with the name [Harry](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/harry-potter) settled on for his middle child – [Albus Severus Potter](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/albus-potter). 

Many were in disbelief at *‘The fact he tolerated Severus so quickly and named his son after him’* and incredulous at the thought of *‘SNAPE BEING THE BRAVEST MAN HARRY EVER KNEW’*. 

We can see why – [Snape](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/severus-snape) was the definition of ambiguous. The way he treated Harry, and his previous support of [Voldemort](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/lord-voldemort), were inexcusable. Yet, the way he gave everything to protect [Lily’s](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/lily-potter) son, including his life, was heroic.  

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and the Goblet of Fire

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## Hagrid’s pink umbrella should have had an upgrade 

It appears that some of you thought, while his magical pink umbrella was an excellent fashion choice, [Hagrid](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/rubeus-hagrid) should have been given a second chance at a magical education.   

As __Cynda Min__ told us: *‘I think Hagrid should have gotten some equivalent of a magical GED. He deserves a new wand and to be fully certified or whatever it is.’* 

After helping to protect Harry, being part of the effort to bring down Voldemort and becoming a [Care of Magical Creatures](/fact-file/magical-miscellany/care-of-magical-creatures) teacher, we think he deserved one too! We love the idea of Hagrid finally getting a chance to return to [Hogwarts](/fact-file/locations/hogwarts) and getting the full, magical experience he deserved.

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Hagrid pointing his pink umbrella at Vernon and Petunia Dursley while Harry looks on.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone 

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and the Philosopher's Stone 

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## Harry shouldn’t have looked a gift horse in the mouth 

If there was one opinion that kept coming up, it was how many of you believed that if Harry had chosen to unwrap a particular gift, [Sirius](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/sirius-black) might have avoided his tragic fate. 

__anni_kasath__ thinks Harry’s big mistake was: *‘Not opening Sirius’s Christmas present, so he could’ve at least used it to check if he was still at Grimmauld Place!!!!’* 

The gift in question? A [two-way mirror](/fact-file/objects/two-way-mirror) through which Harry and Sirius could talk to one another.  

It’s a valid point! If Harry had remembered the mirror, he might have got in contact with Sirius. He may have seen that his godfather was not in the [Department of Mysteries](/fact-file/locations/the-department-of-mysteries). Perhaps he would have avoided that awful trap? Although we will never know, it shows that even the smallest choice can have a huge impact.

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## There were your thoughts on Dobby’s fashion 

We think [Dobby](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/dobby) was a fashion icon – who else could turn odd socks, football shorts and a tea-cosy into a look? Turns out, not everyone holds the same opinion. 

__Frank Sarabia__ could not understand *‘Dobby still wearing that drab old garment even after Harry freed him.’* 

Yeah, we agree that his rags had seen better days. Although, to be fair to our favourite [house-elf](/fact-file/creatures/house-elf), it wasn’t as though he left the [Malfoy’s](/fact-file/magical-miscellany/the-malfoys) with a full wardrobe. Dobby had to start from nothing – so he probably didn’t have many options.

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Dobby is holding a sock in his hand and looking at it.

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and the Chamber of Secrets

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## Some of you had a different vision for the Elder Wand 

*‘Harry should have kept the Elder Wand’* was something we heard a lot. After all, it was one of the [Deathly Hallows](/fact-file/objects/the-deathly-hallows)! It was unbeatable! Plus, having it would make you look very cool.  

However, should anyone truly possess that much power? Would you be able to handle the responsibility without it corrupting you? Or would it just mean more devastation was inevitable down the line?

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## Hermione should have kept hold of one particular object 

It became clear that many of you would have made a different choice to [Hermione](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/hermione-granger) at the end of *Prisoner of Azkaban*. 

As __elianamrodriguez96__ told us: *‘I wouldn’t have returned the [Time-Turner](/fact-file/objects/time-turner)’*. 

We understand the temptation; time is a powerful thing and being able to move through it sounds incredible. It can also be extremely dangerous – one mistake could have catastrophic effects. Hermione returning it was probably the sensible choice… but not the easy one. 

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## Some of you imagined Harry’s future a little differently 

Many of you believed that, after saving the world as a teenager, Harry deserved to live a stress-free life. So, his eventual career choice was questionable at best.  

__jessica.pearson.1023611__ was one such person: *‘I think Harry should have become a professional Quidditch player. He did enough Dark wizard catching as a kid. He needed to have some fun.’* 

It’s true, The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. For too long Harry had to carry the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. His choice to become an [Auror](/fact-file/magical-miscellany/auror) was incredibly noble but, again, Harry would have had a lot of responsibility.

__frejaotoolee__ could also see Harry taking to the skies but had another interesting career suggestion: *‘Harry becoming an Auror?? He should’ve been a DADA teacher or a professional Quidditch player.’*

You know what, we see it. [Defence Against the Dark Arts](/fact-file/magical-miscellany/defence-against-the-dark-arts) was always Harry’s strong suit. Not only did he have the wisdom gained from plenty of hands-on experience, but he also had the skills to be an excellent teacher – his tenure as leader of [Dumbledore’s Army](/fact-file/magical-miscellany/dumbledores-army) proved that.

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## Some spell choices were questionable  

Harry’s signature spell was clearly [Expelliarmus](/fact-file/spells/the-disarming-charm), and it did get him out of quite a few life-or-death situations. Yet, it seems [Remus Lupin](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/remus-lupin) wasn’t the only person to question when and where Harry chose to use such a spell.   

__Stephen Deck__ couldn’t believe that: *‘Harry will attack Malfoy with Sectumsempra, but only attempt to disarm Voldemort, who slew his parents and attempted to conquer the wizarding world.’*.

When you put it like that it does seem rather odd. While Harry using Sectumsempra was a terrible decision, he didn’t know what would happen when it was cast. Incredibly foolish of him, but this moment was the exception not the rule. Throughout the series, Harry consistently chose to use defensive, rather than destructive, magic – which is testament to his strength of character.

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## Voldemort didn’t think things through… 

There were quite a few of you who raised an interesting point about Voldemort’s approach to choosing [Horcruxes](/fact-file/objects/horcrux). 

With many, including __Tristan Mathieson__, believing it to be entirely wrong: *‘Voldemort making his Horcruxes extremely important magical artefacts instead of just random pebbles and pennies is the reason he lost, and he deserved it.’*

A solid strategy… you would be less likely to notice one, nondescript pebble than a [golden, one-of-a-kind cup](/fact-file/objects/hufflepuffs-cup). Voldemort would never have gone for it though. A piece of his precious soul concealed in something so mundane? His ego wouldn’t have allowed it.

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## Finally, things could be a little bit easier if a certain potion was used 

__Kevin Norcross__ strongly disagreed with *‘The wizarding court system for not using [Veritaserum](/fact-file/plants-and-potions/veritaserum) on witnesses and suspects’*. 

Yeah, being liberal with a certain truth potion could be an effective shortcut – it would definitely make [Ministry](/fact-file/locations/the-ministry-of-magic) hearings easier. The problem is, forcing someone to tell the truth by magical means is akin to taking away their free will. Can that ever be justified? And once it began, where would it end? 

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Thank you to everybody for sharing their opinions on character decisions! These were just a handful of brilliant responses. You’ve certainly got us thinking.  

Look out for more unpopular opinions soon! 

*__Please note:__ the answers shared in this article have been edited for spelling/grammar/clarity.*

All the Harry Potter quotes you could need for every kind of speech

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## That perfect opening line
First impressions are crucial when it comes to speeches. People aren’t going to hear all the wonderful things you have to say if they’re not hooked from the very beginning. If you’re in need of a dazzling opener, we think these will do just the trick…

‘Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic’ – Albus Dumbledore

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two

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If there was one character that knew how to weave words into a beautiful tapestry, it was [Albus Dumbledore](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/albus-dumbledore). Kicking things off with a poignant quote by him is sure to capture people’s attention. 

‘I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.’  – Albus Dumbledore

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 

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Another gem from Dumbledore, opening with this very relatable feeling will allow your audience to connect to you straightaway. 

‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ 

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

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Why not start a more light-hearted speech with the words used to reveal the secrets of the [Marauder’s Map](/fact-file/objects/the-marauders-map)? People would instantly know that fun and mischief were ahead.

‘Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!’ – Albus Dumbledore

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Sometimes you just have to go big or go home. Using this eccentric Dumbledore quote guarantees people are going to take notice.

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## How to sign off
There’s nothing worse than a speech which just tails off awkwardly. You need a definite end. Something that is meaningful, memorable and has style.


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The words used to wipe the Marauder’s Map would be the ideal way to close a best man or bridesmaid speech (especially if used as a bookend to a Marauder’s Map themed opening line).

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

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Nothing says ‘the end’ like the final line of the final Harry Potter book! A wonderfully sentimental way to wrap things up.

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## Wedding 
No wedding is complete without a good speech – emphasis being on *good*. In fact, there are often several speeches, and you don’t want yours to be the damp squib. Use one of these quotes to help prevent that awkward outcome.

‘Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth’ – Albus Dumbledore


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This might not instantly scream wedding, but we think it could be a lovely inclusion for a couple who were once childhood sweethearts.

‘It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love.’ – Horace Slughorn


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[Slughorn](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/horace-slughorn) might have been talking about [Amortentia](/fact-file/plants-and-potions/amortentia) here, but this would be wonderful used as a reference to the obvious and visible love between a couple.

‘You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!’ – Albus Dumbledore


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This would be a great line to use when talking about how the strength of the newlyweds love and how it will help to protect them during hard times.

‘There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.’

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One for a bridesmaid or best man speech, while we doubt you have actually fought a [troll](/fact-file/creatures/troll) together, it would be a great way to tee up a hilarious anecdote.

‘Oh, to be young and to feel love's keen sting.’ – Albus Dumbledore


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A light-hearted way to reference the depth of love between the couple.

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Commitment is serious… but it doesn’t mean your vows can’t be fun. The perfect line for a fun-loving pair – especially if delivered with some of [Harry’s](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/harry-potter) sass. 

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## Birthday 
A major milestone, birthdays are both a time of celebration and reflection. We think these quotes capture that sentiment beautifully.

‘It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!’ – Albus Dumbledore

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A fitting quote for someone reaching a significant birthday, especially if you went on to talk about all the brilliant things they have accomplished.

‘It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.’

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Bear with us here, while this quote might seem a little doom and gloom, we can imagine it being used by a parent to highlight how wonderful it has been to watch their child grow.

‘Time is making fools of us again.’ – Albus Dumbledore

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Or this could be an alternative, if used to show how time flies when you’re having fun.

‘Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.’ – Luna Lovegood

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Engraved on [Ravenclaw’s](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/rowena-ravenclaw) [diadem](/fact-file/objects/ravenclaws-diadem), using this quote to illustrate the intelligence and humour of the birthday person can only end well.

‘Yeah, size is no guarantee of power’ – George Weasley

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You could easily use this for a speech that talks about how someone has always been a force of nature worth celebrating.

‘One can never have enough socks.’ – Albus Dumbledore

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If there’s one gift you can rely on receiving every year, it’s socks. Keep this quote in your back pocket if you decide you want to say a few words of thanks at your party.

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## New adventures
Life is a journey, one packed full of action and change. These quotes are ideal for when you want to commemorate new beginnings – whether that’s a new job, travelling the world, a baby shower or even a graduation.

‘It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.’ – Albus Dumbledore

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Graduations are all about moving forward. This quote is a poignant reminder that the world is at your fingertips and it’s up to you to decide what you want your legacy to be.

‘Books! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery’ – Hermione Granger

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In a similar vein, this would be a great alternative to the previous quote – conveying that success isn’t just academic, it’s also shown in how you choose to live your life.

‘You sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve’ – Ginny Weasley

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Any life change requires courage, as summed up in this quote from [Ginny Weasley](/fact-file/characters-and-pets/ginny-weasley). One that would be good to use in your farewell speech – offering insight into your decision.

‘Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure’ – Albus Dumbledore

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