- Owl Counter: 1. He looks Sirius.
- Dumbledore, messing with the lighting arrangements as he is wont to do.
- Where do you learn how to change into a cat? Is there some kind of course?
- I would trust Hagrid with my life, but with a flying motorcycle? Hmm.
- The Dursleys’ porch lamp is still on, Dumbledore. You had one job.
- The very first Harry Potter death stare. If looks could kill, Dudley’s face would’ve melted.
- On to the Reptile House. That is a very polite snake, all things considered. The panic on Petunia’s face is priceless.
- ‘Hilarious Dudley Pratfalls, Volume 1.’
- Owl Counter: 2.
- Check out the penmanship on that letter. That’s why the kids go. None of this spell-casting stuff. It’s all about the calligraphy lessons.
- Owl Counter: 3. Wait… 5. No… 10.
- Sweet cleansing fire, Vernon. Embrace the flames, and you might want to brush your hair.
- Owl Counter: I counted 77 before I got to the roof. The Owl Counter is dead.
- Yes, Dudley, daddy has gone quite, quite mad.
- A hut on a rock in the middle of the sea. This was the only sane course of action.
- Was your birthday wish for a gamekeeper to wreck a door because: SURPRISE!
- Never bring a shotgun to a half-giant fight, Vernon.
- Instant friend: just add cake.
- Distracted by Harry’s comically large trousers.
- Only Petunia could look this sassy with rollers in her hair.
- Careful Vernon, that umbrella’s loaded!
- Tapping sticks on walls does not usually reveal shopping districts.
- Ooo pet bat – very goth.
- The Nimbus Two Thousand. It probably won’t come up again.
- Gringotts Bank. Where the cleaners have been on holiday since 1894.
- Writing ‘Top Secret’ on a letter in red ink isn’t as secretive as you might think.
- Vault 713. This musical crescendo is trying to tell me something.
- Ollivander says his parents came in for their first wands? How many wands did Lily and James go through at school?
- Not the one. Nope, not that one either. That third wand comes with amazing lighting, treat yourself.
- HEDWIIIIIIG. Forget about the bat, pick the adorable owl.
In this image:
- Hagrid, you are just terrible at being enigmatic but that was an impressive disappearing act.
- Weasleys! All the Weasleys. Okay MOST of the Weasleys.
- Oh Molly, where would we be without you? (Still at King’s Cross and sad).
- Well that was cool, but get out of the way before Ron rams into you.
- Every school should have its own train. With a sweet trolley.
- ‘I’m Harry, Harry Potter.’ And with that, we see the first of many dumbfounded looks from Mr Ronald Weasley.
- Scabbers. Our eyes narrow.
- Has anyone ever picked a tripe-flavoured Every Flavour Bean?
- Magic outside school, Ron? What would your mother say?
- Hermione Granger: repairs some glasses, throws shade, drops mic.
- Seriously, look at first years standing next to the prefects. They’re so teeny.
- The giant squid was obviously not included in the Hogwarts prospectus, otherwise I think there would have been a letter campaign.
- Woah, that’s a castle!
- ‘And Slytherin’. Your tone gives you away, Minerva. Clearly not a fan.
- Let’s hear it for Trevor the disappearing toad.
- ‘Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.’ You’re at wizard school, not MI5.
- Why wasn’t my school like this? I mean there were probably fewer candle wax-related injuries, but still.
- Mrs Norris looks shifty.
- ‘GRYFFINDOOOOOR!’
- It’s just a hat, Ron, don’t look so scared.
- Professor, there’s a ghost in my chicken. Granger, you had to ask why he’s called ‘Nearly Headless’.
- The heating bill at Hogwarts must be extortionate.
- I’m just going to say it: Professor McGonagall makes an adorable cat.
- Just let Hermione answer the question, Snape, otherwise she may explode.
- Seamus will one day burn this place to the ground.
- Fantastic ‘the game’s afoot’ face, Granger.
- Anyone else think broomstick practice maybe needs a bit more room?
- Neville: king of calamity, duke of disaster.
- Shameless #TeamGryffindor bias from McGonagall.
- These staircases are all over the shop at Hogwarts. Is the Fat Lady at the wheel? Would explain a lot.
- Filch’s cat. Reverse, REVERSE!
- Being expelled would be much worse for Hermione than death.
- Quidditch: the sport that arms children with wooden sticks then flings them into the air, no matter the weather.
- Golden Snitch eh? It probably won’t come up again.
- It’s Levi-OH-sa, not Levio-SA’. See Hermione – guys love it when you show you’re better at things than they are.
- THAT WAS MEAN, RONALD.
- Calm down, Quirrell. You’re making a spectacle of yourself.
- Malfoy’s troll face.
- Hermione is saved, Ron knocks out a troll, bogeys everywhere. It’s the stuff of lasting friendship.
- And he wipes it on his robes. For the love of…
- FIVE POINTS?! Miss, he sparked a mountain troll.
- Powerful eye game from Snape.
- Oliver Wood’s story about his first match really isn’t enhancing Harry’s calm. There’s no shame in running. Well, maybe a little.
- Hermione appears to be taking inspiration from the Seamus Finnigan ‘set fire to everything’ playbook.
- I think I saw slobber on that Snitch’s wings.
- And the anti-Snape society convenes for its first meeting.
- Christmas at Hogwarts beats everything.
- Does Quirrell owe Professor Snape money?
- ‘It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live…’ Excuse me, I have something in my eye.
- Hagrid needs to stop taking animals off strangers down the pub.
- Owl Counter: billions.
- Snitches get stitches, Malfoy. And you were out of bed, genius. Enjoy your detention.
- ‘God, I miss the screaming.’ Argus Filch’s Ofsted report is going to be a hoot.
- Unicorn blood. This is detention at Hogwarts.
- And then a hooded figure attacks an 11-year-old. This is detention at Hogwarts.
- ‘I shouldn’t have told you that.’ The Hagrid equivalent of having a bad feeling about something.
- Snape’s ‘did you just narrow your eyes at me, Potter?’ face is amazing.
- Neville – your time is now. Nope, he’s on the floor. Probably with an itch on his nose.
- Three-headed dog drool. How droll.
- Devil’s Snare does not sound child-friendly.
- Give Ron some credit. Chess is rather taxing and wizard chess is ‘brutal’.
- ‘I’m never alone.’ Is this the moment Quirrell lifts back his robes and we see his 15 cats? And one of them is called Captain Sparkles.
- Well that’s disturbing. And the talking face on the back of his teacher’s head wants to bring the dead back to life. Seems legit.
- Normally children’s hands are just sticky, but Harry’s are lethal weapons.
- In the hospital wing. Later in the series, this is referred to as ‘the Potter suite*.’
- ‘Alas, earwax.’ Wizard sweets are just plain weird.
- Slytherin got 472 points. How did that even happen? Does Snape give Crabbe and Goyle points for remembering their own names?!
- Yes, you Ron – you actually got some house points.
- Draco’s raging.
- Let this be the day you remember that Neville Longbottom won the House Cup for Gryffindor.
- Big grins and a photo album later, and we want to marathon the lot. NEXT ONE, PLEASE.
*not really.
You can watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, and all of the eight Harry Potter movies, currently on demand on Sky Movies.