- The Warner Bros. logo has gone all dark and smokey. This can’t be good.
- Snakes and skulls. Great. Something tells us we’re not in Privet Drive anymore.
- Woah, Harry’s aged a lot since this series started. Oh no, wait, that’s Frank Bryce.
- Oh god, Wormtail. Scabbers the rat really has gone up in the world.
- Who’s he talking to? Maybe someone nice.
- Nope, it’s Voldemort.
- Hey look, it’s David Tennant! We love that guy – oh wait… David, why are you fraternising with the Dark Lord?
- Ah, thank goodness it was all a dream. A really real, definitely not-a-dream dream.
- Lol at Ron scared of Hermione seeing his vest.
- Cedric Diggory: so cool and handsome that he can literally jump into view from thin air.
- Portkey travel seems even worse than the London Underground.
- Are they all off to Glastonbury? Oh no, of course, this is the Quidditch World Cup.
- A MAGICALLY HUGE TENT? Can scientists get on with making one of these?
- ‘I love magic.’ Same, Harry.
- I think we can all agree the Quidditch World Cup stadium is incredible. Or, if you’re terrified of heights, bloody awful.
- ‘If it rains you’ll be the first to know.’ Lucius Malfoy has arrived with his rotisserie of sick burns and beautifully-conditioned hair.
- ‘Don’t boast, Draco!’ That is literally the only way he knows how to communicate, Lucius.
- Krum, so formidable he gets his own formidable theme song.
- We love that spell that makes your voice louder. Could do with that ability down the pub on a busy Saturday night.
- Ron’s deep, unparalleled love for Viktor Krum is adorable.
- Let’s take a moment to examine everyone’s shaggy haircuts. This is definitely the year Harry Potter discovered indie.
- Oh man, buzz-kill Death Eaters!
- The skeletons of all the tents is genuinely a very eerie image. We’re a long way away from lovely three-headed dogs and making Polyjuice Potion in the girls’ bathroom.
- We love the brainstorming behind Voldemort’s Dark Mark: it couldn’t just be a skull, it had to also have a snake tongue. Alright we get it, my Lord, you’re so bad.
- Ah, the gentle Hogwarts trolley to take our minds off all that Death Eater terribleness.
- Cho Chang alert! Welcome to Harry Potter’s teenage years.
- Harry’s handwriting is so messy. Sure, he has bigger things to worry about, but doesn’t Hogwarts have an after-class calligraphy tutorial?
- Durmstrang and Beauxbatons on their way to Hogwarts. Durmstrang clearly into pirates.
- Seriously, Beauxbatons, nobody walks like that. It would take you ages to get anywhere.
- Who hired the acrobat???
- Hagrid, ever the Casanova, accidentally stabbing Professor Flitwick with a fork when he sees Madame Maxime. Now this is romance.
- Neville, Harry, Ron, Fred and George ALL have the same haircut. This is embarrassing, guys.
- Mad-Eye Moody, everybody! How well-cast is Brendan Gleeson here, seriously?
- Oooh, the Goblet of Fire. We’d rather have a goblet of something slightly tastier.
- Mad-Eye Moody isn’t one for a bit of class banter, is he?
- Oh, er, teaching Unforgiveable Curses to 14-year-olds. Are you sure about this one, Mad-Eye?
- Seriously, who signed off on Mad-Eye’s lesson plan?
- ‘What should I have her do next? Jump out the window? Drown herself?’ HOW ABOUT NONE OF THE ABOVE, ALASTOR?
- Anyone for a nice, innocent Boggart? Nope? Okay, we’ll stick to death and torture, then.
- This Neville and Mad-Eye scene is especially awful once we find out who Mad-Eye really is.
- It’s ‘time to find out who is going to have to do all these horrible dangerous tasks in the Triwizard Tournament’ time!
- Go on Krum, crack a joke.
- Cedric, Fleur and Krum are the tournament champions, obviously. But the Goblet’s still deciding something.
- Gutted, Harry. And you thought you were going to have a nice quiet year.
- Harry Potter and the Nice, Quiet Year at Hogwarts. We’d read that book, but it absolutely doesn’t exist.
- It is still shocking seeing Dumbledore shove Harry against a wall during this scene. Dumbledore doesn’t shove!
- Ron just said ‘piss off’! In a 12A movie!
- Uh-oh, Rita Skeeter. Strong pin curl game though.
- A Quick-Quotes Quill is basically auto-correct for terrible people.
- We still all tear up the second we see a long shot of Hogwarts, right?
- Sirius in the fireplace – just one more reason wizards should consider Skype.
- The first task is DRAGONS.
- Why is Draco up a tree? Is he more effective up a tree?
- While everyone else at Hogwarts explores indie haircuts this year, trust Draco to stick with his 1990s boyband curtains.
- ‘What are you good at, Harry?’ ‘I don’t know.’ HARRY YOU DEFEATED LORD VOLDEMORT AS A CHILD.
- First task time, eep.
- Wow, even the toy Hungarian Horntail is scary.
- ‘Your WAND, Harry!’ Proof that without Hermione, Harry would be totally dead: example number 43,244.
- This dragon is causing serious damage. Hopefully Hogwarts has decent home insurance.
- Would would be the excess on a tower? Sorry, distracted.
- Yule Ball time. Cue incredibly awkward flirting.
- ‘Wannagobawithme?’ Even Casanova enunciated, Harry.
- Ron could have got his dress robes from a vintage clothes market in East London.
- Parvati is a total pro at this. We love Parvati.
- Hermione’s pink dress of dreams.
- Your cat is totally a valid date to bring to the Yule Ball, Argus.
- Wizard Jarvis Cocker! The mystery of everybody’s haircuts is finally solved.
- Magic Works is a really good song FYI. Look it up.
- Ron colossally messing things up with Hermione, as ever. How she eventually got with him is beyond us. BEYOND us.
- ‘It’s not a bad place for a bath,’ says Cedric. I'm sure none of us ever took that line out of context when we first heard it.
- So Harry takes a bath. With Moaning Myrtle.
- Why has Harry still got his glasses on in the bath? So many questions.
- Second task time. Neville’s ‘I've killed Harry Potter’ line is a classic.
- Ron, Hermione, Cho and Gabrielle Delacour look so creepy – like underwater scarecrows.
- Can we please take a moment to point out how forward it is that Krum has Hermione as his one ‘you'll sorely miss’? They’ve been going out for, like, a week?
- You know how it’s impossible to eat a doughnut without licking your lips? Maybe that explains Barty Crouch Jr’s slightly creepy tongue thing. Just too many doughnuts.
- Third task! That was pretty quick.
- Everyone looks so happy, don’t they? It could never last…
- ‘Go into this scary maze, children!’ This was a terrible idea.
- Either Krum’s been bewitched or he’s got a nasty eye infection there.
- Oh damn, the Cup is a Portkey! Why are they in a graveyard?
- Cedric, NO!
- Probably one of the most affecting scenes in both the book and movie.
- Depowered Voldemort still haunts our nightmares to this day.
- Oh. My. God. Ralph Fiennes is a lovely man but absolutely bone-chilling in this scene.
- Oh Lucius, how far you’ve come from passive aggressive remarks.
- Voldemort shows Harry that he can now touch him. I cannot stress how unsettling he is in this moment.
- ‘I’m going to kill you, Harry Potter.’ Yeah, Voldemort we understood that much.
- THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER.
- The Priori Incantatem moment made us cry in the books and then again in the film. Poor James and Lily. Poor Cedric.
- The horrible moment where the jovial music stops playing and Amos realises...
- These sad violins aren’t helping.
- How much do you hate Barty Crouch Jr in this moment? Even lovely David Tennant’s face can't change that.
- We like how when Dumbledore discovers real Mad-Eye in the trunk he’s all ‘I'll come get you in a minute!’ Oh yeah, because what’s an extra minute compared to months and months and months alone in a trunk?
- Cedric’s funeral. Just so awful.
- ‘Soon we must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy.’ Probably one of the best-ever Dumbledore lines.
- ‘Everything’s going to change now, isn’t it?’ ‘Yup.’ Harry very casual about Voldemort’s return at the end.
- Hermione: ‘You’ll write, won’t you?’ Ron: ‘I won’t.’ Ron, you are AWFUL with girls.
- Harry won’t write either. What’s wrong with you both?
- And off everyone goes and there’s that gorgeous tracking shot of Hogwarts’ landscape that make us cry every single time.
- Nice one, Mike Newell. He did Four Weddings and a Funeral, you know. No wonder everyone had glorious floppy hair in this film.
